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I don't know if it is true, but I want it to be

Karl Hofmann on Sat December 11, 2004 8:16 AM User is offlineView users profile

This is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline
which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the
customer care department.



Needless to say, the Help Desk employee was fired
however, he is currently suing the WordPerfect
organization for "Termination without Cause." This is
the actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer
Support employee (now I know why they record these
conversations) starts here:



"Rich Hall computer assistance; may I help you?"



"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."



"What sort of trouble?"



"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden
the words went away."



"Went away?"



"They disappeared."



"Hmmm. So what does your screen look like now?"



"Nothing."



"Nothing?"



"It's a blank; it won' t accept anything when I type."






"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"



"How do I tell?"



"Can you see the 'C:' prompt on the screen?"



"What is a sea prompt?"



"Never mind, can you move your cursor around the
screen?"



"There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept
anything I type."



"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"



"What's a monitor?"



"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like
a TV. Does it have little light that tells you when
it's on?"



"I don't know."



"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find
where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"



"Yes, I think so."



"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if
it's plugged into the wall."



"Yes, it is."



"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that
there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not
just one?"



"No."



"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again
and find the other cable."



"Okay, here it is."



"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged
securely into the back of your computer."



"I can't reach."



"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"



"No."



"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean
way over?"



"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle
it's because it's dark."



"Dark?"



"Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I
have is coming in from the window."



"Well, turn on the office light then."



"I can't."



"No? Why not?"



"Because there's a power failure."



"A power.......a power failure?.... Aha, Okay, we've
got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and
manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"



"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."



"Good.. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack
it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it
back to the store you bought it from."



"Really? Is it that bad?"



"Yes, I'm afraid it is."



"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell
them?"


"Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."
_________________

-------------------------
Never knock on deaths door... Ring the doorbell and run away, death really hates that!

MikeH on Sat December 11, 2004 10:08 AM User is offline

O/K guys. This story has ben around in one form or another for about 5 years.
Various culprits include IBM, MS, Compaq, Visio, HP, CompUSA, Etc, Etc, Etc.

Unfortunately, I have worked with people who are so computer "illiterate" that they match the profile of this story

Tom Greenleaf on Sat December 11, 2004 11:38 AM User is offline

Just imagine all the people! Dealing with a system Bill Gates is responsible for. He is a drop out! Couldn't finish college and smart as can be and dumb as a bait smelt at the same time. 99% of the world has to put up with this! I wish him and all of you well. Computers are a frustration like no other! I hope I live long enough to see better out there! Smile, Happy Holidays, Tom Greenleaf

-------------------------
Tom Greenleaf

TRB on Sat December 11, 2004 1:16 PM User is offlineView users profile

I like Bill Gates as he has made my world a lot easier to manage!

-------------------------

When considering your next auto A/C purchase, please consider the site that supports you: ACkits.com
Contact: ACKits.com

MrBillPro on Sat December 11, 2004 1:50 PM User is offlineView users profile

Quote
Originally posted by: TRB
I like Bill Gates as he has made my world a lot easier to manage!


DITTO!!!!!


-------------------------
Don't take life seriously... Its not permanent.

TRB on Sat December 11, 2004 1:58 PM User is offlineView users profile

Wordperfect is a Corel product and I don't think Billy controls them yet!

I have read that support ticket before and it is funny!

-------------------------

When considering your next auto A/C purchase, please consider the site that supports you: ACkits.com
Contact: ACKits.com

meaux on Sat December 11, 2004 2:19 PM User is offlineView users profile

Gee, if it wasn't for Bill and his buddies, I wouldn't get the utter joy of talking to Karl and all the others around the world!!

Now, if I could just Jesse Jackson on the line........Michael Moore won't talk to me either......:-)

-------------------------
Lazy bum who lives off his wife.

01 BMW 530i Sport, 92 Porsche 968, 85 F150, 72 911, 08 GM SUV, 01' Ford Lightnin'

TRB on Sat December 11, 2004 2:25 PM User is offlineView users profile

Again I have to point out the facts. It was Al Bore that created the internet. Michael Moore is to busy at the buffet line to talk to you!

-------------------------

When considering your next auto A/C purchase, please consider the site that supports you: ACkits.com
Contact: ACKits.com

Tom Greenleaf on Sat December 11, 2004 5:19 PM User is offline

I still think "Microsoft" should be in the dictionary as guy with TWO problems! Oh come on and smile!
Tom Greenleaf

-------------------------
Tom Greenleaf

NickD on Sun December 12, 2004 6:58 AM User is offline

I was under the impression that Al Bore invented the ozone layer, and not the internet. But the roots of the internet trace way back to Moorse for digital transmission of data, Edison had a lot to do with multiplexing where one wire could be used to transmit up to eight telegraph signals off of one wire. The inventors of solid state upped that number into the thousands and even hundreds of thousands.

Bill is the epitome of what can be done with licenseship ownership, his buddy developed most of the command.com code but didn't think it was going anywhere, the rest of DOS, about 99% is licensed by Bill, Bill redefined the position of the middleman, while other companies, such as Wal-Mart were trying to get rid of the middleman, Bill became one of the strongest middlemen in the world.

IBM is kicking their cans for not paying Billy the 5,000 bucks for his short code and trying to save a buck by licensing it, Xerox developed the mouse that Apple took advantage of, but Billy stole lots from Apple. Billy was good as he thought long term and didn't charge the outrageous prices Apple was charging. But Apple was writing code before Billy was house broken.

The net grew with Winsock and that other now nearly forgotten browser company, MS had nothing to do with that, but saw it as a money maker writing software to eliminate them, and you can't tell me MS is making a huge side fortune with all this adware and spam on the net..

Would like to hear about any new innovations from MS besides the register where it's now safe to turn your computer off, but they certainly didn't have anything to do with the development of the telecommunications industry, but they sure had lot to do with putting tons of crap on the lines. It's nice to be in a position where you can with a license buy something for a penny, and resale it for a buck, that is the true definition of MS.

I have been using yahoo messenger for years, but recently it crashes my computer, can load and use it, but when I close yahoo IM or yahoo e-mail, my screen freezes. I don't know who the culprit is and really don't care anymore, Yahoo is blocking Trillian uses and maybe in the process is causing the crashes, or maybe MS has something to do with this. It's just a constant battle, but for now, just delected yahoo and switched to MSN messenger, least it works. FireFox is working great, but I know that won't last long. Just did a quick search and thousands of others are having the same problems with yahoo with all kinds of non-working solutions and reasons.

Still have two more computers to fix that my kids are using, no firewall or anti-virus programs seem to work, and telling them not to visit certain sites doesn't work either. Ha, at least I never have problems visiting ACkits.com, thanks Tim.

Edited: Sun December 12, 2004 at 8:09 AM by NickD

MikeH on Sun December 12, 2004 5:43 PM User is offline

Do you guys realize that the first PC was released, without a hard drive in May, 1981? Yes, there were some computers before it, Radio Shack Trs-80, and TR-3, also, other small bits that didn't really have a place in the business or personal world, stickly experimental. What I liked about the PC was that I could walk into any store that sold IBM and pick up a manual for $60 that had all of the DOS Operating System in it - and I mean all of it. It showed how all of the various cards worked and what ports did what. You could develope software for the PC rather easily I even did some compiled Basic stuff for speed and size. By the by, no royalty fees.

Now comes the MAC. Apple wanted $500 for the initial OS documentation peek just to see if you wanted to invest an additional $2500 to see all of the OS code and even then, you never saw it all. Then, if you wanted to sell software to run on the MAC you had to pay a 5% royalty on ALL software sold. So, it is any wonder why only a small amount of software exists for the Mac comapted to the PC?

Even now, every time that Apple changes its OS, there is a good chance that you software from an earlier release won't run. Today, on a PC, you can still run a Win 3.1 program under XP.

There was a story that early in 1980 IBM 2 PCs ready to go. One had an Intel processor and the other had a Motorola processor. IBM wanted to go with the Motorola because of the power but Motorola didn't want to get into the processor mfg business. Intel was needy and cut a deal with IBM. You know the rest of the story. Imagine what the PC would be today if the much more powerful Morotolla processors had been used.

NickD on Mon December 13, 2004 10:23 AM User is offline

Yeah, I got very angry at Apple when our MAC lost it's hard drive with the OS installed, Apple does not give even a copy of the OS and wanted 300 bucks for the CD, that MAC went into the trash can for what it was worth. Amiga required all expensive upgrades when switching boxes, I figured out their model system the 500 was 500 bucks, the 1000 was 1000 bucks, and the 4000 was 4000 thousand bucks. I could run some of the 500 software on the 4000 but it was just as slow as on the 500.

Have to give MS credit for being backward compatible, but can't say anything good about Adobe and others when they come out with new software that obsoletes all of your old data files, but they have to stay in business, right? Maybe 300 bucks isn't too bad, but an IC simulation program did that after one year and the price was 10,000 bucks, that hurts.

Sill one hell of a big mess and Nortons Clean sweep is not that clean, a friend of my wife's said that Skype was the greatest program in the world where you can talk for free. Ha, no different than MSN but in reverse, you called first, then had to hit a box to chat plus when I downloaded it, it put 10 adwares on my box. Clean sweep left lots of junk all over my box, took me two hours to manually find it all and manually delete it, no such thing as a free program when your box gets loaded with adware sending out your e-mail address to the world.

Yesterday, I found a hatred for Kodak cameras, was installing it on a non-net box, guess Kodak wants you to be on the net so they can print out your pictures, had a lot of crash problems with that program, but sure it would run nice if on the net and you had your credit card handy. Could only recommend to my daughter to get a SD card reader and dump the Kodak program.

Speaking about messes, when I cleaned my wife's computer, she had over 5,000 files in her Windows/Temp directory, none of these damn programs remove that crap, you have to do it yourself.

I do have a working Windows 98SE disk, thanks to burning, ran speed disk on the mess that MS made and burnt to a new disk so it loads smooth, with the OE disk, got constant loading crashes as the head was bouncing all over the place and getting lost in the process. So Why can MS run their Norton's licensed scandisk first before making their master? Just a thousand of little things to do to keep a box working, very poor housekeeping on the part of programmers.

JJM on Mon December 13, 2004 3:00 PM User is offline

It wasn't all that long ago when we would just accept our cars stalling out a red lights, or sputtering out on the highway from vapor lock in the summer. I can remember seeing people duck (thinking it was a gunshot) as a car backfires on deceleration - blowing apart the muffler. Who thinks twice now about idiling in traffic at 100F with the A/C on? And there was a reason why the odometers of yesteryear didn't read past 99,999 miles because it was something that normally did not happen.

In short cars, have gotten a LOT better, particularly in the last 10 to 15 years. Today many manufacturers recall cars for non-safety related matters which normally would've been ignored in the past. Heck, years ago, they wouldn't initiate a recall unless they were dragged kicking and screaming.

People used to tinker with cars years ago to keep them going the way we tinker with computers today. Computers - while they still have a long way to go - ARE getting better. Windows 2000 and XP are far more stable than any of their counterparts. Remember how often we would have to reboot Windows 3.1 or 95, 98, and even ME. NT 4.0 used to be the more stable platform, but occasionally it would mysteriously blue screen crash, and you'd lose all your work. At least with Windows 9x, sometimes you could at least save your work from a blue screen crash. I almost never have to reboot 2000 or XP, and it almost never crashes.

In time, I believe computers will be as reliable as cars. We will turn them on and use them just like we do with our TV's - and remember how we used to tinker with TV's too.

Joe

Tom Greenleaf on Mon December 13, 2004 4:54 PM User is offline

MEMORY LANE!!!!

- Full Serve gas stations

- Beach Wagons

- TVs that had to warm up!

- Cars - same make and model that some needed two pumps, some more to start

- The ice man! How many blocks do you need?

- Bias ply tires

- re-inkable ribbons on typewriters (they even had a key for "cents" Not just $

- Gas Wars!

- Spell Check was a Dictionary!

- Four digit phone #s! (Know folks who recall one digit or two within town!)

Just fun to recall what were good old days for me - hopefully you too. Computers are great. Duh - I'm using one!

Merry Christmas and Holidays to all, with my signature "Smile" Tom Greenleaf

-------------------------
Tom Greenleaf

NickD on Tue December 14, 2004 7:19 AM User is offline

The worse thing I recall about cars made between 1949 into the late 80's is rust out, 1949 was the year Detroit invented rust. I spent more time doing body work than anything else. In regards to inventions, the worst was the automatic choke, a mystery back then and not very reliable, but kits were available to convert them back to normal. The greatest inventions was the PCV closed crankcase systems, before then, whenever you took your foot off the gas, the engine would suck in tons of road dust and the coolant reservoir to keep air out of the cooling system. Going further back, putting neoprene seals on bearings, in the 20's and 30's, no seals at all and a complete lube job was required every 500 miles and with the breather, the oil should be changed as well. I feel they went a little overboard today by completely omitting all the grease fittings. The paper air cleaner was also a welcomed accessory, was quite a mess to clean the old oil bath types. But these cars were simple to work on.

Emissions certainly have improved, recall going into my garage with that terrible gas odor, nothing could be done about that especially with a wide open four barrel carburetor evaporating everything in the float bowl. I never had problems with vapor lock, but would reroute my fuel lines, er line I mean, just one line from the tank. The electric pump runs continuously today circulating fuel back to the tank, also cools that tiny very expensive pump that is a complete bitch to change. In the high pressure system used in the Blazer and Bravada, a complete pain in the ass, they are using the same pump in 35 PSI systems as in this 55 PSI system, if the pump pressure just drops a tad, no recirculation and the fuel pump burns out.

Breaking a bolt back then was very uncommon, would break the wrench first, can't even work on any vehicle today without breaking at least one and the cost of repairs today is astronomical. One car I really miss is my 41 Buick, maybe my memory is shot, but swear it was just as easy to steer with the all ball bearing Saginaw steering as todays power steering and that car could be driven all day at 80 mph and was rust free. But the engine did get dirty with the breather, but could be rebuilt for under 50 bucks, ha, mostly cleaning and you didn't have to pull the engine to overhaul it. I turned the clock three times on my 65 Buick, but after 14 years, couldn't deal with the rust anymore, but the AC system in that car plus the transmission was indestructible. I made my own electronic ignition and voltage regulator for that car, so it was virtually maintenance free, I won't mention that rear rope seal.

Worse problem with computers is operating them on the net, I don't have a solution for that, had to reformat a box yesterday, just too much of a mess to try to clean up.

TV's are far more reliable, Wal-Mart has a 27" flat screen TV for 140 bucks where in the 60's a 19" would set you back about 700 bucks, can't say the same about cars, have to pay about ten times as much today and I don't feel the quality is there.

HerkyJim on Tue December 14, 2004 11:27 PM User is offline

Say Nick, try: ccleaner.com May be of use. My $0.02

NickD on Wed December 15, 2004 8:06 AM User is offline

http://www.ccleaner.com/download116.php

Is the link, very short program, only 360K, I like the cookie feature of this program listing the cookies in English so I know what they are, but have enabled cookie warning to limit the size of this folder and as opposed to CleanSweep, let's you keep the cookies you want, where cleansweep deletes the entire cookie file.

It only found 47 invalid entries in my registry, but I haven't cleaned it today, but makes a guy wonder why Windows lets all this crap in the first place as well as the Temp folder that fills up quickly each day. Thanks for the tip Jim, running Windows is like taking a brand new SUV into a mud field.

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